When things go wrong, you might just want to curl up in a ball and cry. You’re broken and don’t think you can or want to go on. There’s a chance that your partner cheated on you, or you lost your job. You can not imagine how things could ever get better because they are so bad right now.

This easy story can help. It shows how to deal with problems in the best way and how we can use problems, failures, and other bad things that happen to us to become better people.

One day, a young woman went to see her grandma and told her how hard her life was. She found out that her husband had cheated on her. Research from The University of Utah shows that between 20% and 25% of married guys do this.

“Gran, I’m done.” I am no longer strong enough to fight. It looks like everything is going wrong, and just as one issue is fixed, a ten times worse one comes up. “I promise I’m done.”

Her grandma looked at her, wiped away her tears, took her into the kitchen, and gave her some very wise words.
The grandmother put three pots of water on the stove and left it there. In the first pot, she put carrots, then eggs, and finally ground coffee beans. When the pots began to boil, she added the third pot.

The girl and her grandmother did not say anything and just watched them boil. What was in each pot was brought out and put in bowls after about twenty minutes. The grandmother turned off the heat under all of them.

“Tell me what you see,” the grandmother asked. “Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” the granddaughter said, thinking that her grandma wasn’t as smart as she used to be. “Feel the carrots,” the grandmother told her grandchild. “Now break an egg.” Take a sip of the coffee one last time.”

She tells her grandmother Grandma gives her great advice after she’s been cheated on. Pexels and cottonbro studio

“What are you trying to tell me?” the niece asked after doing what she was told. “See, honey? All of these things were faced with the same problem and responded in different ways.”
The carrot was strong, hard, and wouldn’t give up. But when it was put in the boiling water, it weakened and became soft. The egg had only a thin shell around its liquid inside, so it was easily broken. But after being in boiling water for a while, the inside had stiffened. These ground coffee beans were not like the other two; they had changed the water instead of it changing them.

The granddaughter agreed and said she wished the science projects she did in seventh grade had been as educational. “Which one are you?” The grandmother asked her niece.

When bad things happen, how do you handle them? Are you like a carrot that seems tough but gets soft and weak when things go wrong? Or are you like an egg that has a heart that can adapt but changes when it gets hot?

She tells her grandmother Grandma gives her great advice after she’s been cheated on. Pexels and cottonbro studio

5 Reasons Why Having an affair with your husband was the best thing that ever happened to you

Are you usually a flexible person, but when something bad happens, like a death, a breakup, or losing your job, you become stiff and rigid? On the outside, do you look the same, but on the inside do you get mean and angry?” The granddaughter paid close attention and tried to understand everything her grandma said.

“Are you like the coffee grounds that changed the hot water, the very thing that caused the pain?” When the water gets hot, it gives off a wonderful coffee smell and tastes like coffee. The grandma said, “If you’re like the bean, when things are worst, you don’t give up; you get better and stronger and change the world around you.”

The girl gave her grandmother a hug and then went to talk to her husband. “Be the coffee, honey,” her grandmother said as she was almost out the door. “Always try to be the coffee.”
People who are truly happy don’t always have the best things in life, and not every day is filled with lollipops and bunnies. They just make the most of whatever comes their way.

Here are some more zodiac signs that are terrible at relationships (and why).
20 little things women do that men really love about them How to finally fix your relationship
11 Tiny Signs That Someone Really Loves You The best future is built on memories that are long forgotten. The person who said this was very wise: you can’t move on with your life until you let go of your mistakes and hurts. A study from 2011 shows that letting go and accepting what is can make you happy.

Don’t let bad things bring you down so low that you can’t get back up. You can learn from it and forgive if you can. Remember that hard times make you strong, sadness makes you human, and happiness makes you sweet.

Here are eight basic ways that being cheated on changes you.

Christine Schoenwald writes, performs, and often does work for YourTango. Among other places, The Los Angeles Times, Salon, Bustle, Medium, Huffington Post, Business Insider, and Woman’s Day have all published her work.